I started this on March 2, 2019. Three and a half months ago life was so different. Three and a half months before that, even more different.
And the way I’ve looked at my girlfriends has also changed drastically. For the best.
My two greatest friends and I have been long distance for years. We made countless memories in our coming of age years which is why we can stand the distance and time apart. But that made me think all friendships can thrive while spending minimal time together. Maybe they can, but they surely don’t have to.
I am notorious for putting my girlfriends on the back burner when a life event, job task, or significant other come into the picture. It’s what I do. I assume my friends understand that I need to prioritize these new things in order to show them what exactly I’m capable of.
*Georgia Hardstark voice* Howmever, that’s pretty shitty of me.
I came to this realization at rock bottom when my people were there with copious amounts of tequila, wise words, and funny pick-me-up stories to get me through the dark days. It’s not unfair for me to assume my girlfriends will understand why I need to cutback on weekday nights out, but I shouldn’t be shooing them away every weekend because of a Right Now situation.
Here comes a cliche. No one important or worth it will ever make you choose who you share your time with. There’s enough of you to go around. Put forth SOME effort, and the true homies will be patient and stick with you. That goes for both romantic and friendly relationships. Don’t date (or be) that douchebag who controls his or her significant other’s calendar. That suuuuuuuucks. Dating is supposed to be fun, not stressful. That’s what marriage is for.
Say it with me, balance.
Namaste, bitches. Find that equilibrium in your life and own it. My mom swears by this rule my grandma instated when she became of dating age: no seeing each other during the week and only seeing each other one day of the weekend. Strict, right?
But it makes total sense. Nothing that is permanent in life should go off the wayside because of something that could be a Right Now kind of deal. And nothing that new should change your life drastically (not to say the flavor of the moment couldn’t evolve into something more substantial, but you see my point). Feel it out, scope out the sitch before anything is set in stone.
I mean for God’s sakes, I regret the flavor cream cheese I put on my bagel almost immediately after the point of no return. Take a step back and think it out, and for the love of CHRIST never put jalapeno cream cheese on a blueberry bagel.